A Cold War Catfight

From Russia With Evil Intent, Elena
Runs Into Emma

     An investigation into a bizarre murder brings Emma Peel out to an old country estate.

     Striding confidently down the pathway, hair shining in the sulight, Emma leaps lightly up the steps with the grace of a ballerina.

     Then she makes a quick pirouette as a gun-blast and a scream shatter the rural tranquility.

     Soon Mrs. Peel and her colleague John Steed will be investigating two murders.

     It gets stranger: The killings have something to do with a secret scientific formula that can make a person invisible!   

​    And the Russians are after the formula. Such a weapon could win the Cold War! Invisible Soviet spies could infiltrate every capital and assassinate every world leader. Communism would finally triumph!

​     Involved in this bit of skullduggery is the bumbling Ambassador Brodny, an old "friend" of Emma and Steed. 

​    But this time he's complemented by two very dangerous and deadly spies, who won't let anyone stand in their way.

     And guess who's standing in their way? Emma and Steed... 

*BANG!*

`ARGH!'

`Mrs. Peel, We're Needed'

`He was pushing DOWN the lillies,' Emma tells Steed of her afternoon adventure.
Steed explains the invisibility formula to Mrs. Peel: `Take a teaspoonful at bedtime, when you wake up,
all your problems have vanished!'
    `Major Vazin, and his beautiful wife, Elena.
Both top spies.'
While Elena is being watched, says Steed, the Major `hasn't been seen since he arrived.'
`Perhaps he sampled some of the  invisibility formula,' jokes Emma, when they both realize it might not be funny.

The Headless Major

`Ha, ha!'

     Ambassador Brodny has been wondering himself where Major Vazin is, but he wasn't prepared for what he found! 

`My apologies, Brodny...'

Major Vazin -- apparently in the nude -- and Elena explain to Brodny their plans...

`The formula is in our possession'

`Pretty
little gun,' says the ambassador

Bad Chemistry

*BUZZZZ!*
Emma is having some fun with her chemistry set, when the doorbell buzzes...
*SLAM!*
...but no one is there! As Emma wonders about that, the door shuts by itself! 
Emma wonders some more, when two gloved hands appear! They look familiar...
A drug-laced hankerchief is pressed against Emma's face!
Our heroine struggles, but soon she loses her will to resist...
Everything gets all fuzzy...
...and down goes Emma!

The Russians Are Coming!

Emma awakens, with terrible hangover, in the Russian Embassy!
`We meet once again, Mrs. Peel'
There she finds Brodny, Elena and the Major, sans gloves (and everything else).
`If she moves, shoot to kill,' Elena tells Brodny
`I am ruthless! Utterly ruthless!' 

Brodny's Dramatic Exit

` In there!' says Brodny. `Move!' 
Emma decides enough's enough, and *JUDO CHOP!*  
`OWWWWW!'
Brodny goes on the offensive!

`I have you
in the Kaminski hammerlock!'

Mrs. Peel is unimpressed with Kaminski's work, reversing the move...
...and sending Brodny flying!
Still, the plucky Ambassador sets himself for yet another attack!
He rushes! But Emma steps aside like a matador...
...and Brodny speeds past like a runaway bull...
...until *CRASH!* he flies through the window and down to ground below.
`That was
fun!'
`Now, for some
more fun ...'
`...I'll kick that Russian chick's ass!'

Elena vs. Emma

Finally, Emma confronts her Russian counterpart...
...and Elena goes for her pretty little gun!
Not quick enough for Mrs. Peel, however, who grabs Elena...
...and sends her for a ride!
*SHATTER!*
And another whirl!
Emma literally runs circles around her adversary, and confronts her once more!

Elena Fights Dirty

So far, Emma has proven too athletic for Elena. Time for some unorthodox tactics...
Elena goes for Emma's hair!
But Emma's had her hair pulled so often -- as we go to great lengths to bring you here at kingofhairpull.com -- that she blocks the maneuver!
Elena tries with the left hand, also blocked...
...as is an attempted belly shot.
Elena wonders how she can possibly break through Emma's defenses...

When the Blow Goes Low

Thoroughly frustrated by the young Brit, Elena rears back...
...and takes aim with her stiletto at Emma's womanhood!
*BLOCK!*
Thwarted once more, Elena doesn't like the look on Emma's face. So she bolts!
Yet running away from Emma proves just as difficult...
...as Mrs. Peel grabs and tosses the Russian back across the room!
Elena goes for the door again, but she can't get past Emma...
...who seems to be having fun throwing Elena around!
Elena is all shook up, and Emma goes in for the kill!
But the Russian isn't finishedl She grabs Emma's arms, and a struggle ensues...
...ending, yet again, with Elena getting hurled across the room!
This time the target is more formidable -- metal filing cabinets!
Elena hits with a *CLANK!* and crumples to the floor.
As the Russian looks up, dazed, Emma notices something strange...
...the drawer behind Elena seems to be opening on its own, then *BOOM!*
Down goes Elena.
`Do I still get credit for a knockout?' Emma wonders...

Epilogue

Obviously, there was no invisibility formula. The `headless man' was Major Vazin in a ridiculous costume, and the rest was done from a high-tech control room. The seltzer bottle can even be made to squirt in Brodny's face. Oh, how Emma and Steed laugh!
THE END

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